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Wearing a mask is a way of changing or hiding your appearance. It can be done for fun, for example, when going to a costume party, or it can be done with bad intentions, such as someone covering their face when carrying out a crime. Autistic masking is neither of those things.
my story
Various people have asked me questions along the lines of, “How could you get into your fifties before realising you were autistic?” It’s a good question, but it is surprisingly common for autistic people of my generation to find out in later life.
The reason for this late discovery will vary from person to person. For me, a lot of it had to do with the culture in which I was raised. I’m from a working-class background in Sheffield, a post-industrial city in the north of England. Sheffield is in the county of South Yorkshire.
The people of Yorkshire are stereotypically down-to-earth, no-nonsense people. They “work hard and play hard.” Weakness and frailty are for “Southerners.” As a child and as a young man, any sign of weakness marks you out for ridicule, bullying, and out-grouping. You have to learn to “man up” if you’re going to succeed in life. This was the narrative I had absorbed from childhood.
I always knew I was different from everyone around me, but gradually, I learned to “man up,” to be hard, to be both assertive and aggressive. I worked hard, and I socialised hard. But it was all an act. It was a disguise. It was autistic masking. And I did it so intensely that I fooled pretty much everyone. Including myself.
autistic masking
In autistic masking, the mask is behavioural, not an object used to cover the face. Autistic masking is when an autistic person attempts to change their behaviour or style of communication to seem not autistic.
All people, not just autistic people, carry out adaptive behaviours to fit into society. In psychology, this has been variously referred to as creating a persona, adapting self-presentation, or playing a social role. Many people are familiar with the pressures of having to behave differently at work, at home, and with friends. These are examples of different personae that each of us presents in different situations.
persona
The term persona has its roots in the old Latin word for a theatrical mask. The idea behind the persona or social roleplaying in psychology is that we never reveal our true selves fully to the world. Social, mental or emotional pressures mean we keep something back, and present something false or constructed to the people around us.
There are parts of our personalities that we rarely or never reveal to others. Most people of all neurotypes accept this as a basic part of human existence.
Deploying a persona comes naturally to most people. To varying extents, social roleplaying is a lifelong part of everyone’s personality that is more or less effortless, precisely because it is so natural. Autistic masking is distinct from this natural behaviour, however.
social alienation
Autistic masking is a reaction to the status of being socially disconnected and alienated from the neuromajority; of having a sensory, mental, and emotional experience of the world that is profoundly different from that of the overwhelmingly neurotypical culture in which we live.
Whereas the natural expression of neurotypical persona lubricates social belonging for each individual, promoting happiness and wellbeing, autistic masking is exhausting and debilitating.
Different autistic people mask in different ways, and for different reasons. Sometimes the masking is done consciously, sometimes unconsciously. But the common aim of all types of autistic masking is to alter behaviour to fit in more comfortably with neurotypical situations.
How can an unconscious behaviour have an aim?
Before explaining this, we will look at conscious masking.
conscious masking
Conscious autistic masking is when the person makes a conscious decision or plan to adopt or restrict certain behaviours to fit in more comfortably with their social environment. It can also involve changing appearance by adopting certain clothing styles, hairstyles or cosmetic regimes. These measures can be taken either to stand out less in a crowd, or to stand out more, in order to identify with, and be identified by, a particular subculture. The autistic person making these conscious plans might practice or rehearse certain behaviours and interaction styles.
unconscious masking
Unconscious autistic masking is when the person changes their behaviour without making a conscious decision or plan to do so. It often happens subtly and gradually.
If an autistic person says something or does something that elicits negative or unpleasant responses in their social environment, they might become uncomfortable, and be less likely to repeat that behaviour. Alternatively, if they receive positive or pleasant feedback, for example, people laughing at their joke, they might repeat similar behaviours to build on those pleasant responses.
These changes in behaviour hold true for all people to some extent, not just autistic people. The difference for autistic people is that they are responding to a feeling of alienation from the people around them. The feedback-based changes in behaviour for an autistic person. are self-enforced and involve adopting behaviours that feel unnatural, or suppressing natural autistic behaviours such as stimming.
A non-autistic person making these changes is simply adapting their interaction style to fit the circumstances. An autistic person doing this is self-inflicting trauma due to a sense of feeling disconnected and alienated from society. The non-autistic person is using a natural social skill. The autistic person is responding to social distress.
An autistic person who does not know they are autistic will still engage in autistic masking. The sense of social alienation is not created by a diagnosis; it is internal to the person. This explains why so many people who learn in adulthood that they are autistic feel a sense of relief, as it answers the question of why they have felt so alienated for so long.
For an autistic person to mask consistently for long periods of time is hard work. To actively deny who you are by adopting an alien set of behaviours just so that other people don’t realise how badly you feel you don’t fit in is debilitating. It erodes the sense of self-worth.
It is important to note that masking does not usually make autistic people feel like they fit in. The purpose of autistic masking is not to make the autistic person feel like they fit in, but to conceal the behavioural differences that might reveal they do not fit in.
Fitting in helps autistic people avoid being bullied, ridiculed, ignored, or marginalised. It can help foster friendships and professional connections. But these are all factors external to the autistic person, and will not make the person feel less autistic.
examples of autistic masking
Below is a small sample of behavioural changes involved in autistic masking. Maintaining these behavioural adaptations consistently is exhausting and requires constant hyper-vigilance over one’s own behaviour.
| Adopted behaviours | Suppressed behaviours |
| Increased smiling | Stimming |
| Increased laughter | Avoiding sensory overload |
| Eye-contact | Asking for minute details of plans |
| Tone of voice | Info-dumping |
| Fashion / clothing choices | Fashion / clothing choices |
| Small talk / gossip | Being quiet |
| Facial expressions | Facial expressions |
| Attending events / meet ups | Use of sensory toys |
| Food and drink choices | Food and drink choices |
autistic burnout
The long-term effects of the intense masking carried out by autistic people, the adoption of behaviours that feel unnatural, and the suppression of behaviours that feel natural, are physically exhausting, and damaging to mental health.
Autistic masking ultimately leads to autistic burnout. The subject of autistic burnout will be covered in detail in the next article. For now, here is an extremely brief summary of autistic burnout.
symptoms of autistic burnout
Depression, anxiety, physical pain, loss of skills, and the loss of ability to function are key symptoms of autistic burnout. The effects are long-term, and sometimes permanent. This is troubling in light of the fact that depression and anxiety are factors in suicidal ideation, and suicide remains a leading cause of death in autistic people.
the importance of social acceptance of autistic people
While ever autistic people continue to feel alienated in a society that does not accept them for who they are, they will continue to mask.
Autistic masking is a social survival mechanism for autistic people, but it inevitably leads to autistic burnout, which is catastrophic for the physical and mental health of autistic people.
That’s all for this time. Take care.
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